Have you been single for a long time?  These 4 tips will help you get back out there.

Are your ready to find someone but a little afraid that it’s been to long?

Well, the good news is it’s like riding a bike you never forget. You just have to pull the bike out, dust it off, oil the chains put some air in tires and go for a ride.

So where do you start ? At the beginning

1. Define what you want – Before you get back out there you need to know what your looking for. Start by writing down what you are looking for in partner. I don’t recommend making a list about what you want in person like buying a car for example: Tall, handsome, blue eyes ect….

Why? because real relationships are about emotional connection and sometimes what you are looking for may not come in the package you expected so don’t limit yourself into types.

When I say define what you want it is more about describing how you want to feel with someone. Think about what you want to experience, share, and do with that person. Describe how you want to be treated and how you want to treat someone. Define what values and beliefs are important for you in a partner. Example:  I want someone who I have interesting conversation, likes taking naps , and believes in less is more, ect……

2. Visualize it! – You have to see it to believe it. Your subconscious mind is powerful and it helps shape your reality. So picture yourself with that special someone doing the things you love, but most of all image how you feel. Make it as real as possible. Focus more on experiences than physical attributes. If physical attraction is important to you it is better to focus on the feeling of attraction you share with someone than their physical appearance.

3. Get Active – You know that saying “If you don’t use it you lose it!”, so if you haven’t used it in long time its time to get that energy flowing again! You may not like it but you have get out of your comfort zone. You can’t do the same things and expect different results. It is time to try new things.  I recommend you start slowly and the internet is good place for that. You can meet people online and start to chat and explore slowly and get those wheels turning again. On the internet you can control how much you want or don’t want to interact. It is a good place to practice.

Once get some practice in then it’s time to get out there and meet people. I know it sounds easier said than done but not really. Start by participating in group activities that include the things you like to do: Meet-up.com is good place to start it is free, has every activity you can think of, and some groups are just for singles or a certain age group. Meeting people is key.

4. Cope with your  feelings of vulnerability and insecurity – Now when you have been out of the game for while it can be scary putting yourself out there again. Lots of people fear rejection and getting hurt. I wish I can tell you that is not going to happen but the possibility is it might. Rejection sucks! no one likes it. The main thing to remember is people are attracted to energy. So constantly be developing and evolving yourself. If you start by treating yourself well people will follow your lead and your less likely to be involved or deal with someone who is not good for your well-being. So self development is key when looking for love.

Leave Your Comments…

I would love your comments about getting back out there after being single for a long time.

I am here to encourage all those brave souls out there looking to get back out there. If you feel you need some support feel free to contact me;

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